Internship!

Tags

7 cups of tea, adolescent psychology, business, business class, capstone, college, college graduation, criminology, emotional support, end of college, essays, field experience, finance, finance class, graduating, graduation, internship, mental support, papers, personal finance, personal money management, photography, photography class, photoshop, photoshopped pictures, psychology, research, research paper, spring semester, studying, summer classes, university, writing

It’s so hard to believe that this semester (MY LAST FULL TERM SEMESTER OF COLLEGE) is almost over. Just one more class in the summer and then I am done!! I never thought I would get there when I started college, yet here I am 4 years later and just a few weeks away from applying for graduation. It feels so surreal. I’m definitely ready to finish college and graduate, but I’m also scared. School is all I’ve known since I was 5 years old. I’ve been in school almost everyday for the past 17 years and that’s all about to change soon. I’m going to be in a different world than what I know and am comfortable with. Graduating and working in my field is going to require me to get out of my comfort zone, which I’ve never been good at…or comfortable with, obviously. But I need to. I don’t have a choice.

Fortunately, I’ve already started that. For the past year, I’ve been looking like crazy for any internships or jobs I can do in my field until I graduate, so that I’ll have at least some experience when I apply for post-graduation jobs. Even if it’s just a few months’ worth. After much searching, I finally found one!

I applied a couple weeks ago for an internship at 7 Cups of Tea, an organization that gives people emotional support when they’re going through hard times. It’s similar to a hotline, but not that extreme. I love it so far – and I’ve received all positive reviews from the people I’ve talked to, which is a really good feeling. Even though it can be tiring, depending on the conversations and how many hours you do this everyday, it’s really rewarding. I definitely picked the right major and the right internship. I’m proud of myself 🙂

I’m still doing well in my classes. My grades dropped a little bit due to the stress and the course load, but I brought them back up and could not be more relieved. Finance is a hard class! I originally thought about majoring in business, and boy am I glad I didn’t now. It’s difficult for me and it’s not my thing. What I do love about it, though, is how much I’m learning about personal money management (it covers everything you can think of in personal finances) before I move out on my own. It’s made me feel so much more calm and relaxed about how to handle money on my own and how things like credit, mortgages, premiums, etc. all work.

But the rest of my classes are going really well. Still loving Criminology. I’ll admit, though, it’s made me a tiny bit paranoid about my surroundings whenever I leave the house haha…not gonna lie – though it’s had same effect on others I know who took the class, so that makes me feel better 😛

Photography is still super fun and I’ve learned so much in Photoshop. I have to make movie posters for my next assignment, which is fun to work on. I’ll have to post them when I’m done 🙂 Here are the Photoshop pictures I’ve done so far that I like (you can make them bigger if you click on them):

For Capstone (I love saying that!), I’m writing a 7-10 page research paper. The topic is sad, so I won’t bring that up, but it’s really interesting. Lastly, Adolescent Psychology is still, by far, one of the most interesting classes I’ve ever taken. So yes, I’m still loving this semester (except for finance) 🙂

Almost there!!

Psychopathy: All Serial Killers?

Tags

antisocial, antisocial personality disorder, APD, dahmer, jeffrey dahmer, mental disorders, mental health, murder, personality disorders, psychology, psychopath, psychopathy, serial killers, sociopath, violence

As I said in my last post, Antisocial Personality Disorder is my preferred disorder to study. (I was going to say that it’s my favorite disorder to study, but that probably would’ve sounded weird.) It’s just fascinating to me that someone can feel absolutely no remorse whatsoever for any bad thing he or she does – for murdering someone or torturing someone, for stealing, for abusing, for hurting someone who may love him or her unconditionally, for anything. Some people think that psychopaths (the criminally insane ones) are just pure evil, that they’re born evil or become evil. Some of them may be – some may like hurting others and get off on it (in more ways than one). But I don’t think they’re all evil, even though they come off that way…strongly.

The thing about people with APD and psychopaths is this: they don’t know right from wrong. They can’t. They just don’t understand. I don’t know why this is, and I will definitely be researching it more to see if I can find some sort of answer or even theory, as it’s never been discussed in my classes or textbooks. But I know there’s a reason. Something causes this. Is it before birth? Is it after? Is it something during childhood that tips it off? Are they just born this way?

Usually, those with APD start exhibiting symptoms during childhood or their teen years, although it’s a different disorder if they’re children or teens. A person has to be at least 18 years old to be diagnosed with APD; otherwise, it’s a different disorder. But I won’t get into that right now.

Often, when we hear about serial killers in the news or in history (such as Manson, Bundy, Dahmer, Gein, and so on), we automatically think “psychopath.” And sometimes, we may be right; but sometimes, we may not be.

There were theories that Jeffrey Dahmer was a psychopath, someone with APD. But I don’t think so. Yes, he lured in guys and molested them, tortured them, murdered them, and did weird stuff with their bodies afterward; but I don’t think he’s necessarily a psychopath. Now, you may be thinking, “WHAT?! Of course he’s a psychopath!!” But hear me out. I watched an interview that he did in the ‘90s before his death, after he’d spent quite some time in prison, during which he got saved and became a Christian, and he did express remorse for what he did, explaining that he wish he hadn’t.

Now I know that, of course, he could’ve been faking it; but he looked saner than before. He looked nothing like he did when he was on trial and convicted. His eyes even looked different. He looked like a different man. I hope that he was. I hope that he wasn’t faking it. I hope that what he said was genuine. But he knew that he was going to spend the rest of his life in prison with no possibility of parole, so why would he lie? It’s not like it would’ve gotten him out. He did state, though, that he’ll probably have to live with the urge to kill for the rest of his life; he acknowledged that he has a problem, one that he has to live with. A psychopath wouldn’t acknowledge that, because he or she wouldn’t know or believe that it’s wrong.

So no, I don’t think he was a true psychopath. Some of you, or even many or all of you, may disagree with me and think that I’m looking at this all wrong; and that may be true, but it may not be. That’s my own view, based on what I learned about him and what I’ve learned so far about APD.

Anyway, there are plenty others I could talk about, and I will later when I take another break from my studies.

Psychopathy in film

Tags

abuse, antisocial, antisocial personality disorder, APD, charming, criminally insane, drew peterson, lack of empathy, lack of guilt, lack of remorse, manipulation, mental disorders, murder, personality disorders, psychology, psychopath, psychopathy, serial killers, the stepfather, violence

I watched one of my favorite films on Lifetime yesterday morning called “Drew Peterson: Untouchable.” I don’t know how many of you have seen it, but it’s really good. For those who don’t know, it’s based on a true story about none other than Drew Peterson, who was accused and convicted of killing one of his wives and is suspected in playing a part in the disappearance of his fourth wife as well. Rob Lowe plays Peterson, and boy is he convincing. He played it so well; it actually made me a bit scared of him (Lowe, I mean). He’s very charming and easily lures women in, getting engaged to them very quickly and only stays married to them for a few years before they threaten to leave him and then “disappear” or are found dead.

Kaley Cuoco (Big Bang Theory) plays his fourth wife, Stacey. Peterson is very emotionally, and a bit physically, abusive with his wives. He blames everything on them, justifies every disrespectful act he commits, grabs them forcefully if they try to walk away, accuses them of cheating when they never did, and so on. Even when he’s confronted by the cops and arrested, he seems so at ease. He doesn’t feel guilty about anything because he truly doesn’t believe that he’s done anything wrong whatsoever.

So let’s see, he feels no guilt, he’s never anxious about anything (even jail), he doesn’t treat people fairly, he’s abusive, he’s charming, he’s manipulative, and he doesn’t seem to really love any of the women he’s with. Sounds like a complete psychopath to me. He fits the description perfectly.

Here’s another example: The Stepfather. That film portrays a psychopath really well. Terry O’Quinn plays Henry (the stepfather) in the original and Dylan Walsh plays him in the remake. Like Drew Peterson, Henry is also manipulative, charming, and feels no guilt whatsoever. If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a man who lures in widowed/single women with kids and marries them, only to become abusive and eventually kills the mothers and the children. He then moves on to another city or town and does it all over again, though under a new name each time. Sound like a psychopath? Oh yeah. In fact, the movie is also based on a true story, that of John List.

I’ve found psychopaths to be very interesting to learn about and study. They have a disorder known as Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD), which psychopath and sociopath are the informal nicknames of. It’s one of the most difficult disorders to treat, because people with APD don’t feel guilt or remorse, meaning that they don’t know right from wrong. If they did, they’d have a moral code, and people with moral codes feel guilty (usually) when they do something wrong or harm others. Someone with APD would have no remorse over hurting someone – or even killing someone.

Now, not all people with APD are criminally insane; not all of them are abusive; not all of them are dangerous. Usually, when we hear someone is a psychopath, we think of someone who is violent, abusive, dangerous, criminal, and willing to kill. That’s how movies portray them. But that’s not so for all of them – probably not even for most of them. A person can have APD and not kill anyone or even harm anyone – they just simply don’t know right from wrong, so they may be rebellious, may mimic others’ emotions (they don’t really feel emotions themselves), may manipulate others with ease, may be overly charming, and so on. They’re not all killers. Personally, I wouldn’t be very afraid if I knew someone who was psychopathic. Most people probably would be, but I’ve done so much research on this disorder and have learned about it so much in my psychology courses (even wrote a long research paper on it), that I understand the difference between someone with APD and a psychopathic killer. Many people debate about whether all people with APD are psychopaths – some think they are, while others think that psychopaths are just the violent, criminally insane people with APD, rather than all people with APD. But I’ll get into that later.

I could go on, but I’ll stop for now. There’s more about APD to come, as well as classic examples and maybe even my theories about them.

Society’s obsession with our bodies: Out of control!

Tags

anxiety, BDD, beauty, body dysmorphic disorder, body hate, body image, body love, celebrities, cosmetic surgery, eating disorders, health, looks, media, men's bodies, mental health, obsessions, plastic surgery, psychology, self-esteem, society, women's bodies

I read a few articles on body image on Psych Central recently, and they really spoke to me. They were all about body image, as well as Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which I’ll refer to as BDD for short.

For those who haven’t heard of BDD, it’s a type of anxiety disorder where a person sees his/her physical “flaws” as severe problems. We all have things we don’t like about our bodies; but for someone with BDD, it’s extreme. It often results in the person getting tons of plastic surgery to “fix” these issues, and I’m sure we can all think of quite a few celebrities who have undergone tons of operations to “fix” their faces. In reality, there’s nothing wrong with these people or their bodies, but they don’t see it that way. To them, their “flaws” are so real and so extreme that they feel the need to do something as extreme as surgery to get rid of those problems. A lot of the time, though, they still don’t feel satisfied; so they get more surgeries, truly believing that each one will be the last. But it’s never good enough (well, hardly ever). I mean, I haven’t heard of many celebrities who stopped after just one surgery.

What they don’t realize is that we all have things we don’t like, or even hate, about our bodies; but that doesn’t mean that we are flawed. And it doesn’t even mean that our bodies are flawed. For instance, I’ve always hated my long legs, my flat chest, my non-existent behind, my narrow feet, my tiny wrists, my skin, and so on. But none of that means that I myself am flawed – and that doesn’t mean that any of those body features are flawed either! But society pressures us so much to look a certain way, specifically like celebrities; and we don’t look like them, we think something’s wrong with us. When really, something’s wrong with society and the media.

For many girls, and some guys as well, being at a certain weight becomes an obsession – so much so that they end up developing eating disorders (ED’s) in order to achieve that weight, or to achieve an even lower one. Many of these girls with ED’s end up with severely poor health and many complications, and sometimes die as a result. It’s real, it’s out there, and many people choose to ignore it. ED’s, as well as any other type of mental disorder, carry such a stigma and are so taboo in this society that people who suffer from them refuse to seek help – but I’ll get into that in a later post.

The point is that society tells us that we have to look a certain way, be a certain type of person, have a certain type of personality, and so on. When really, we’re all fine the way we are. Unless a person has a true deformity (and I mean a legit one), there’s no need for plastic or cosmetic surgery. Implants are not necessary, a new nose is not necessary, a new chin is not necessary – none of that is necessary!

Women and girls, y’all are perfect the way you are. Don’t let society tell you any different, and don’t let society (or anyone else for that matter) make you feel any different. You are all beautiful, and you always will be no matter how you age, what you weigh, which body features you hate, or what someone tells you. Please don’t ever forget that. It’s not worth it to forget it, but it’s priceless to remember it.

Facebook no-no’s

Tags

behavioral science, biology, brain and behavior, college, drunk photos, facebook, internet, neuroscience, news feed, no-no's, psychology, ranting, regrets, school, science, selfies, sexy selfies, studying, summer school, things you'll regret later, university, venting

Well I said I’d post again in a little while…but with all my studying, it turned into “in a few days.” So I apologize about that. On a good note though, I took my first neuroscience exam and made an A! I’m so happy. I almost cried when I saw my grade. I’d never been so scared of an exam in my life. Neuroscience is hard; in fact, this is probably the hardest class I’ve ever taken. But I love it anyway. It’s super interesting to see how biology and psychology are so interconnected.

Anyway, on to what my post is about. I read an article on The Stir (a blog on CafeMom.com) today about things people should never post on Facebook, as most people would end up regretting it later. I agreed with every single one, and I can’t even count how many times I see people on my news feed posting the “no-no’s” on their profiles.

One of them was drunk photos, which is a given. The way I see it, no mature person would post a drunk photo on Facebook for everyone to see, especially if he or she is friends with co-workers and his or her children. I see it all the time, though most of them are from friends away at college who are really…enjoying it. I just don’t get the point. Another one is “super sexy selfies,” which to me is another given, but apparently not so much to others. I guess I’m just more conservative when it comes to how I dress and take photographs. I may just be weird, but I’d rather have only one person me in that way, and that’s the person I’m spending my life with. I don’t think photos of hangouts at the beach or the pool are bad, but when it comes to taking photographs in one’s underwear….just no. But, to each their own.

The main one that I agreed with that I see all the time, and bugs me, is venting and ranting about someone one is annoyed or angry with. I prefer confronting people in person, rather than talking badly about them on the Internet for all my friends and family to see. What’s the point? To me, it’s rude and unnecessary.

Now, I’m nowhere near perfect, I used to post negative statuses all the time when I was in high school and at the beginning of college; but I admit, I just wanted attention. It was stupid of me, and I’m sure others were annoyed with me. But I don’t do that anymore because I know no one cares or wants to see it in their feed. I just with others would think about that as well.

But hey, it’s their Facebook accounts, not mine.

Any others y’all can think of?

“Shine On” Award!

Tags

anti-bullying, award nominations, blogging, blogging award, bullying, bullying prevention, college, facts, psychology, shine on award, writing

I found out this week that I was nominated for the “Shine On” Award by the author of a blog I follow: Terry at “Bullying Prevention.” I love Terry’s blog because I am so against bullying of any kind, and I want to live to see the day that bullying is no more. His blog is http://terkinn.wordpress.com (I haven’t figured out how to hyperlink yet)

I’m not sure how long I’ve been following his blog, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that such a well-known and popular blog noticed, and likes, mine. I’ve been blogging for almost a year now, but not always regularly. I’m trying to change that and make more regular posts. I’m just still trying to find…my voice, so to speak. It’ll probably take some time, but I’ll get there 🙂

Anyways, the rules for this award are as follows: (1) Thank the person who gave you the award, (2) copy the logo and put it on your own blog, (3) link the person who nominated you, and (4) state 7 things about yourself.

So lastly, here are 7 facts about me:
1) I’m a college senior majoring in Psychology, and planning on pursuing a Master’s in a few years so that I can working in counseling someday.
2) I’m a really quiet person when I’m around others, but I can go on and on if you get me talking about something I’m really interested in.
3) I laugh a lot and easily. My dad used to say that laughter is the best medicine and that’s why I’m so healthy 😛
4) I’m not a master chef here at home yet, but I still love to cook! Friends and family always love my final masterpieces 🙂
5) I’m a huge perfectionist and neat-freak, probably the biggest one you’ll ever know.
6) I’m obsessed with TV shows. I get hooked on them quickly and easily. I’ll be hooked on up to 10 at once! Vampire Diaries, Client List, Fringe, Greek, Supernatural, Hart of Dixie, and many more!
7) And finally, I will eat anything chocolate. I think chocolate is an essential food. At least for me 😛

So there you have it. 7 facts about myself. Thank you again Terry for nominating me for the “Shine On” Award, really appreciate it! 🙂

Summer and classes and work, oh my!

Tags

anthropology, beach, classes, college, galveston, graduation, july, june, psychology, senior, sociology, summer, summer classes, work

This past week was crazy, but fun! I worked only 2 days last week, but they were longer days than usual. But it was good 🙂 Then this past weekend, I went to Galveston with my boyfriend’s family and spent the weekend with them at a beach house. So fun! I’d never been to a beach house before. I loved it. It was literally just a 2-3 minute walk to the beach. I wasn’t outside for very long, but I still got sunburned! Darn me and my pale skin 😛 But it was definitely the most fun, best weekend of my life.

Summer classes start in 2 weeks. I’m excited! I’m taking a sociology class and an anthropology class in June. I’ll admit I’m bit a nervous about it ‘cause I’ve heard from classmates that sociology classes are hard, and anthropology is a ton of work. Plus I’ll be working too. So, we’ll see how that goes. But I’m excited nonetheless. I’ve always wanted to take a sociology class and I finally get to! And anthropology sounds interesting. So yes, I’m excited 🙂

I can’t believe it’s already summer, though! Just a couple more months and I start my final year of college…can’t believe I’m becoming a senior! Graduation is just one year away. Can’t wait! I’m really looking forward to working in the psychology field. Hopefully I’ll get to intern somewhere in that field maybe in the fall or next spring.

So yes, that’s been my week and that’s the plan for June. I’ll talk about July the closer we get to it. Talk to y’all later! (And yes, I know the title for this post is weird :P)

Almost done!

Tags

college, essays, exams, finals, papers, psychology, school, studying, university, writing

Well I took 2 of my finals last night, which weren’t very difficult, thankfully. My writing final involved writing a 2 1/2 page essay in class on a political issue – and politics is not my strong point, so I freaked out a bit at first, but I ended up writing more than I needed to. My professor knows that I love writing and that it’s not easy for me to write a short essay (and to me, a short essay is 4 pages or less). So she looked at me and said, “But don’t over 5 pages” and giggled 🙂 I ended writing around 3 1/2 pages, and even finished early so I could study for the social psychology final I had an hour later. Thankfully, that final was pretty easy! I was able to answer every question, including the bonus question. So I really hope I get an A on it. Well on both 🙂

Just 2 more finals to go. One tomorrow and one Sunday night. 3 short papers due Saturday night, and one more assignment due Tuesday night, and then I will be done ’til June. Can’t wait!

Just one person can make a difference.

Tags

abuse, alcoholism, college, college students, eating disorders, hardships, help, pain, psychology, rape, reaching out, reddit, university students

I came across an article today while searching for news stories with particular themes (for my Humanities class), and it really touched me. I’ll provide a link to it at the end of my post. Basically, a college student posted a picture on a site called “Reddit” of a message someone wrote and taped to a stall in the girls’ bathroom. Her caption for the picture states that for once, someone replied to all the heart-breaking things girls write on the stalls. I’ve never seen such a kind act like this…it was heart-warming to read, yet sad at the same time…because of what some girls have written. Here’s what the message said:

“To the girl who was raped: You are so strong. I cannot fathom the pain you must have gone through. The fact that you have the bravery to write it (even on a bathroom wall) gives me hope. 
To the girl with eating disorders: I promise you, although I don’t know you, you are beautiful, you deserve your health. You deserve freedom from that hell.
To the girl with the alcoholic father: I am so sorry for the agony it must cause. Again, such courage is remarkable you must be such a strong person to see such pain.
To the girl whose father died: Missing them never goes away. The ache of their absence never goes away. But the love they had, the memories you share surely must last. I am sure, out of the bottom of my heart, the people who have left you in this world are exceptionally proud of the person you are.
Everytime (sic) I see these walls, these confessions, I feel so blessed to know I have the priviledge (sic) of seeing them. Your moments, these secrets, are all precious even though they are sad. To all of you (including those I did not mention, and those who have not yet written)

-You are worthy.
-You are strong.
-You are brave.
-You are loved.
-Somebody cares.”

Then someone else replied to that and wrote a thank you note. Can you imagine how alone those girls felt? So alone, that they had to resort to writing in anonymity on a bathroom stall because they couldn’t talk to anyone?

This is the very reason why I want to be a either a counselor or school psychologist. I hate the idea of young adults and teens having to go through things like this alone.

The point is, you never know what someone may be going through. So always try to be the kind of person whom others know they can come to. You don’t always have to say something back, just listen. Sometimes, all they need is to get it off their chest…they just need someone to lend an ear or a shoulder.

Here’s the link to the story: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/anonymous-encouraging-message-posted-university-restroom-172524530.html

Update!

Tags

anxiety, busy, college, college life, life, night classes, philosophy, psychology, reading, school, stress, writing

Well, my semester started this past Monday, on the 14^th. It is going to be a busy and hectic one. I’m taking a humanities class online, which requires tons of reading – but thankfully, it’s a lot of philosophy (like The Great Dialogues of Plato), so it’s interesting – and a bit of writing and discussions. I’m also taking a psychological thinking class online as well, though I don’t know how heavy that load will be yet. And I’m taking 2 night classes back to back on Wednesdays: Advanced Writing (lots of writing!) and Social Psychology. I’m there for 6 hours on Wednesday evenings/nights; so, by the time I get to my second 3-hour class, my concentration ability is highly diminished, unfortunately.

I was really nervous about going to my night classes, ‘cause I strongly prefer online classes. I learn better that way, and I admit I get very nervous around groups of people, which interferes with my ability to concentrate and focus. But thankfully, once I got into the elevator last Wednesday to go to my class, I ran into a friend and classmate (from last semester) who told me that she’s in my Advanced Writing class! So, I started the first day with a friend, which was nice 🙂 And my boyfriend and I both taking Social Psychology together, and we have another friend in that class as well (also from last semester), so that makes it better 🙂

But anyway, my Social Psychology book came in yesterday and I read the first chapter last night and this morning, and I really like it! So, this semester is going to be tough, busy, and stressful, but it’ll be interesting 🙂 Hopefully, I’ll still be able to ace all my classes and keep my 4.0. I’ll do my best. If my posts are less frequent this semester, I do apologize. I hope that doesn’t happen, but I’m sorry if it does. I have close to 20 papers to write this semester.

So anyway, that’s my update about myself. Hopefully, soon I’ll be posting about things other than school 🙂