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As I said in my last post, Antisocial Personality Disorder is my preferred disorder to study. (I was going to say that it’s my favorite disorder to study, but that probably would’ve sounded weird.) It’s just fascinating to me that someone can feel absolutely no remorse whatsoever for any bad thing he or she does – for murdering someone or torturing someone, for stealing, for abusing, for hurting someone who may love him or her unconditionally, for anything. Some people think that psychopaths (the criminally insane ones) are just pure evil, that they’re born evil or become evil. Some of them may be – some may like hurting others and get off on it (in more ways than one). But I don’t think they’re all evil, even though they come off that way…strongly.

The thing about people with APD and psychopaths is this: they don’t know right from wrong. They can’t. They just don’t understand. I don’t know why this is, and I will definitely be researching it more to see if I can find some sort of answer or even theory, as it’s never been discussed in my classes or textbooks. But I know there’s a reason. Something causes this. Is it before birth? Is it after? Is it something during childhood that tips it off? Are they just born this way?

Usually, those with APD start exhibiting symptoms during childhood or their teen years, although it’s a different disorder if they’re children or teens. A person has to be at least 18 years old to be diagnosed with APD; otherwise, it’s a different disorder. But I won’t get into that right now.

Often, when we hear about serial killers in the news or in history (such as Manson, Bundy, Dahmer, Gein, and so on), we automatically think “psychopath.” And sometimes, we may be right; but sometimes, we may not be.

There were theories that Jeffrey Dahmer was a psychopath, someone with APD. But I don’t think so. Yes, he lured in guys and molested them, tortured them, murdered them, and did weird stuff with their bodies afterward; but I don’t think he’s necessarily a psychopath. Now, you may be thinking, “WHAT?! Of course he’s a psychopath!!” But hear me out. I watched an interview that he did in the ‘90s before his death, after he’d spent quite some time in prison, during which he got saved and became a Christian, and he did express remorse for what he did, explaining that he wish he hadn’t.

Now I know that, of course, he could’ve been faking it; but he looked saner than before. He looked nothing like he did when he was on trial and convicted. His eyes even looked different. He looked like a different man. I hope that he was. I hope that he wasn’t faking it. I hope that what he said was genuine. But he knew that he was going to spend the rest of his life in prison with no possibility of parole, so why would he lie? It’s not like it would’ve gotten him out. He did state, though, that he’ll probably have to live with the urge to kill for the rest of his life; he acknowledged that he has a problem, one that he has to live with. A psychopath wouldn’t acknowledge that, because he or she wouldn’t know or believe that it’s wrong.

So no, I don’t think he was a true psychopath. Some of you, or even many or all of you, may disagree with me and think that I’m looking at this all wrong; and that may be true, but it may not be. That’s my own view, based on what I learned about him and what I’ve learned so far about APD.

Anyway, there are plenty others I could talk about, and I will later when I take another break from my studies.